Fate
by Disco Ant
Summary: A Namida fanfic. Ooh, fanfic of a fanfic. Susanne and Cecil find meaning in their lives.


Pycal made me do this. Evil Pycal... But, I added in my own ending, which is lame because I couldn't quite figure it out. Meh, enjoy...or something. xP

Holy crap, writing the lisping was a pain! Never will any of my characters have some odd lisp thing or whatever. Evil times two...

* * *

**Fate**

Susanne wandered the damp streets, the rain that had fallen all day taking a short break, the full moon shining through a patch of open sky before the slow moving clouds covered it once again.  
Susanne's eyes stung, the tears he had been crying blending in with the rain that had fallen on his face.  
But now there was no rain to hide them, nothing to wash them away.  
He stared up, wanting the rain to pour down on him, wanting it to wash all of his feelings away.  
His troubles had started long ago. First with the loss of his mom, then with Eva, then with his dad and then the episode with Cecil seemed to just add to it.  
As much as he was angry about it, as much as he wanted to hate Cecil, there was something there. He knew that Cecil cared about him like no one else did. He knew Cecil would be there for him when he needed someone to run to. He could say that about nobody else. His family, his friends, nobody seemed to care.  
They didn't care when he started smoking. They didn't seem to notice when he would come stumbling home drunk. And even the visible cuts on his arms didn't do anything.  
Nobody cared, except for Cecil.  
Cecil showed compassion to Susanne's problems. He tried to get Susanne help. He even offered to pay for it, just to make him better, to make him the Susanne he came to love.  
With the rain pounding once again, Susanne continued to wander.  
Maybe it was a subconscious thing. Maybe it was what he wanted. Whatever it was, Susanne found himself entering the apartment complex that Cecil lived in, wandering the halls until he found his door, bringing his hand up with no hesitation and knocking on it.  
"I'll be right there," Cecil hollered.  
Susanne stood and waited, his soaked body shivering.  
Cecil opened the door, his smile fading when he saw Susanne. "Thuthanne! What are you- You're thoaked!"  
"I...I need help," Susanne whimpered as he stared down.  
"Come inthide," Cecil said as he waited for Susanne to enter and then closing the door. "I'll get thome towelth tho you can dry yourthelf off."  
Susanne stood, sighing deeply as he looked around the room. He looked down as Cecil came back with white bath towels, grabbing them and wiping the water off his skin.  
"Do you want thome hot tea or thomething?" Cecil offered.  
"Do...do you have hot cocoa?" Susanne asked.  
Cecil smiled and nodded, going to the kitchen and boiling some water. He came back to the small living room. "You can thit."  
"But...my clothes are soaked."  
"It'th okay," Cecil said with a shrug. Usually he wouldn't even allow people to eat in his living room, let alone get his couch all soaked and dirty, but with Susanne he didn't mind.  
Susanne layed the towels down and sat on them.  
Cecil smiled at this. He could tell Susanne was a descent person. Even with the names he called Cecil and the way he acted towards him... 'He thtill came to me for help...'  
Cecil sat down beside Susanne. "What did you need, Thuthanne?"  
"I...I tried to kill myself today," Susanne said, his shaky voice showing his disappointment in himself.  
Cecil gasped. "But, why? Why would you do that, Thuthanne?"  
"Nobody seems to care about me," Susanne said, his voice now angered. "I...I do all kinds of crap and no one notices. Nobody asks what's wrong with me. They all just act like I'm not even there. And so, I figured I'd make their wishes come true."  
"But, I care about you, Thuthanne."  
"I know," Susanne mumbled as he turned away from Cecil. "And I don't know why, the way I treat you."  
"Becauthe," Cecil said as he reached over and held onto Susanne's hands. "I love you."  
"Huh?" Susanne looked up in surprise. "But...I-I'm not a girl..." He looked down and sighed.  
"It doethn't matter anymore." Cecil smiled as he stared into Susanne's eyes.  
"It doesn't... But..." He looked up at Cecil and was caught in his glance.  
The two stared quietly at each other, moving slowly forward until their lips barely touched.  
They felt each others breath, a tingling sensation running through their bodies.  
"Cecil?" Susanne said in a hushed voice.  
"Yeah?"  
"I...I love you, too."  
Cecil smiled, Susanne kissing Cecil as he wrapped his arms around him, Cecil opening his mouth to allow Susanne's tongue entrance, the kiss getting more passionate as Susanne gently pushed Cecil down on the couch.  
The two layed together, continuing to kiss as their hands ran up and down the others body.  
After almost two minutes they separated, staring at each other and smiling before embracing one another in a warm and firm hug.  
Susanne was happy he had come. Living now seemed worthwhile. He found someone who cared about him. And he accepted him, let him into his life.  
Cecil was glad Susanne came to him. He was glad he was able to express his love and that his love was returned. Laying there, holding Susanne in his arms, it made everything bad in his past, the things that lingered in his mind, it made them all go away.  
It was only then that both felt wanted, needed in the world, the two laying there in silence, the only thing bringing them back to the world being the raising, high pitched scream of the kettle on the stove.

Cecil came out of the kitchen, handing Susanne a ceramic cup. He sat down next to Susanne, his hand carressing his thigh as he sipped at his hot cocoa.  
"Thuthanne..." Cecil looked down as he made circles on Susanne's knee with his index finger.  
"Yeah?"  
"Have...have you ever thought about...about thex?"  
"Several times, yeah. Why?" He gave Cecil a confused look before finishing off the rest of his cocoa.  
Cecil shrugged slightly. "Jutht wondering, I gueth..." he mumbled.  
"Never with a guy," Susanne quickly added with a laugh. "I mean, wouldn't it kind of hurt?"  
"How would I know?"  
The two looked up at each other, caught in a long and loving gaze.  
"Oh!" Cecil blurted out. "Your clotheth! You're gonna get thick if you thtay in them."  
Susanne looked down at his still damp clothes. "Oh, yeah. Hey, can I use your shower?"  
Cecil nodded. "Thereth a clean robe in the clothet. I'll throw your thtuff in the dryer."  
Susanne nodded, getting to his feet and getting directed to the bathroom. He stepped inside, removing his clothes and then opening the door a crack to hand them to Cecil, who stood outside the door waiting.  
Closing the door, he leaned himself against the wall, staring up and taking a deep breath. 'What are you doing, Susanne?' he asked himself. 'Do you really actually love a guy? And what about Eva? Did you forget about her? Not that you really have a chance, but still.'  
Susanne sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. His mind was racing for an explanation. He still loved Eva, but as with the others, she didn't seem to care much about his problems. In fact, Susanne was sure she never even noticed.  
'She's always around Baffi, so it's not like she never saw me...'  
He shook his head, the problem still unsolved, his worries going away as he stepped into the shower and turned on the water, letting the warm water soak his cold skin.

In the living room, Cecil sat staring off. He slumped back in the couch and sighed. It all started with that one night. He was just happy to have someone accept him, to have a friend. He never expected it to turn into this.  
Even knowing Susanne was a guy, Cecil couldn't get his mind off of him. Relationships were something he never really thought of much, as girls were more likely to laugh at him than look at him.  
There were several girls he liked growing up, but they were attracted to the more muscle bound athletic guys. The kind of guy Cecil would never be.  
He tried to change for them, but he knew they'd never accept him. And plus he hated himself, the one he changed into.  
He then decided that he'd just be himself, find the one who would accept him as he was, who would love him.  
He always pictured some tall thin blond. He never thought it'd be a tall thin black haired guy. Never.

"Hey, Cecil," Susanne called from the bathroom as he ran the towel through his hair.  
Cecil looked up as he came out of the bathroom, his breath taken away slightly when he saw him in the robe.  
"You working tomorrow?"  
"Yeah," Cecil answered. "Your brother hath thome rethital or thomething. Why?"  
"Close up early and let's do something." Susanne grinned, leaving Cecil wondering what the 'something' was.  
"Um, okay, I gueth I can," Cecil said, his face blushing slightly. "Tho, when are you exthpected back home?"  
Susanne shrugged, walking and sitting next to Cecil. "I'm not, really. I mean, I'm sure they don't even realize I'm gone."  
"It...it mutht be hard for you." Cecil brought his hand up and rubbed it on Susanne's back.  
Susanne was quiet as he stared off. "Can...can I stay here tonight?"  
"Well, yeah, thure you can, Thuthanne. You cna thleep here on the couch."  
"No," Susanne said, stopping Cecil as he got up to get some blankets ready.  
"What ith it?"  
"I...can I sleep with you?" Susanne looked up at Cecil, a sad look on his face.  
Cecil smiled and nodded his head, walking over towards Susanne as he stood, wrapping his arms around him tightly.  
Susanne stood there, his arms limp at his sides, his eyes filling with tears as he began to sob. He didn't know why he was crying. He only felt happiness and love and that feeling of being needed by someone. But deep down inside he knew there was something more. Anger, confusion and hate, three feelings he knew he had to conquer for him to continue going on.  
"You want to go lay down?" Cecil asked.  
Susanne nodded, getting led to the bedroom and collapsing on the bed, burying his head in the pillow.  
Cecil sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his shoulders, trying to show him some sort of comfort and support. "It'th okay," he whispered, although knowing that it wasn't okay, nor would it ever be.

Susanne woke up the next morning, smiling when he saw Cecil getting ready for work.  
Cecil, feeling he was being watched, turned and smiled at Susanne. "Good morning," he said, making his way to the bed and sitting on it, bending down and kissing Susanne.  
Susanne lifted up, plcing a hand on Cecil's face as he kissed him back. "Hi," he said with a loving smile as they seperated.  
"Thleep well?"  
Susanne nodded. "I thlept good." He rolled his eyes around in confusion. "Thlept? Thlept?! Oh my god, Thethil, you never told me it wath a ditheathe!"  
"I'm thorry, Thuthanne! I didn't want you to leave me! I love you!"  
"I can't believe thith! What am I thuppothed to do now?!" Susanne bowed his head in his hands and cried.  
Cecil reached out to comfort him, only to have his hand pushed aside.  
"Jutht...jutht go away," Susanne pouted. "I don't want to thee you right now."  
"But, Thuthanne..."  
"I truthted you! Jutht leave me alone!"  
Cecil stood, upset, and quickly left the bedroom.  
No, it wasn't okay. Things would never be okay. Cecil now realized this, the sad fate that awaited his life. His poor sad miserable life...


End file.
